This is hard
The last several weeks have felt like I've stepped back in time grief wise. The trouble focusing, ugly crying, and mental and physical exhaustion are all back. My energy level is back in the crapper. I thought I was past this. I wasn't prepared for what this anniversary date would bring. I'm trying. I really am trying hard, but, I'm struggling big time. Not much motivation to do anything at all. Doing things because I need to do them, but, not really feeling anything besides sadness and confusion. Sadness because I miss you, terribly. Sadness because I can't see you, touch you, hear your voice, talk with you, listen to you laugh, and watch you make memories with the family (or falimy as you used to say when you sang the Barney song to us no less than a MILLION times when you were little). The falimy is not the same. There is a HUGE hole where you should be. You didn't have to leave. You chose to. That hurts really, really bad. Sometimes I can understand that y...